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[Curtain opens]

The choir [sings]

One little, two little, three little sailors,
four little, five little, six little sailors,
seven little, eight little, nine little sailors,
ten little sailor friends. 
Our competent skipper - you're asking who? -
Seb invited Susannah and then there were two.
Erik liked the idea of going to sea,
he promptly signed up and so there were three.
From Cambridge they travelled to the far shore,
Alex joined at the station - that brings us to four.
Anna with Alex for adventure did strive,
her joining upped the number to five.
Constanze joined too and so the mix
of international people increased to six.
They made their way by train to Glasgow 
where they became seven by meeting with Joe.
Michael also joined, he wasn't too late
and so our happy sailors were already eight.
They made it to Oban on time and just fine
where Christopher met them, which - you got it - makes nine!
The first mate Alexis completed the ten

and they promptly visited a pub aka whisky den.
The journey was finally ready to start,
so listen to their story with all your heart!

Seb, Alex, Anna, Mike, Joe, Susannah, Alexis, Erik, Chris, Constanze

[Day 1]

[Cambridge station, not too early in the morning, a pile of luggage, sleeping bags, the general hustling and bustling of the station. Enter Anna, Alex, Erik and Constanze, Seb and Susannah join the group]

Our journey begins and the train ride along England's greenest hills takes us to Scotland, to Glasgow. In the first pub along the way, Joe and Mike join our group while Alex, Anna, Constanze and Erik do an impromptu whistle-stop tour of Glasgow's sights, ehm - well, they visit Poundland. We make good use of the lengthy train ride, practise knots and learn how to point. And how to keep pointing - an important point, as 'Competent Crew' points out. We finally reach Oban and meet Chris at the train station, after Alexis the first mate completes our group, we have a drink or two at the pub [insert optional scene with two (sober) members of the crew dancing on barrels] and then take the ferry across Oban bay to Kerrera [special effects: starlight, clear skies].

[Oban marina, night time, orange lights, swaying pontoons, starlight on the water]

Finally we are introduced to Kestrel! Kestrel, oh the beauty of thy dark blue curves and white stripe! Thy mast so tall and the wind whistling in the rigging! The first cosy night with a welcomingly warming whisky in the saloon takes us on its wings, and we fall asleep to the gentle swaying of our new home...

Oban marina, Ardantrive bay, Kerrera (photo: Constanze)

[Day 2]

[Overcast and rainy to begin with, then glorious sunshine; tea, crisps and sandwiches]

An early alarm allows for some sneaky hill walking while others enjoy their morning rest, then it is goodbye to washing machines and land (at least for the day ^^) and off we go! [cue: bag-pipe music and the drone of a massive ferry]. The life-vests and the yellow waterproofs – quickly nick-named the 'minion suits' (see minions in ‘Despicable Me’) – are dealt out, maps are pondered over, dividers divide, Seb briefs us on health and safety and for the first time we - most of us complete beginners, deck rats - lay hands onto ropes and the main sail! Under much instruction from Seb and Alexis the sails go up and we are flying, flying with the wind along the sound of Mull, towards Tobermory. Alex, Erik and Joe are the first to have a go at helming while we get used to the heeling of the boat and enjoy the sunshine, plus tea, sandwiches and the first of many bags of crisps. Life is good!

Erik, Joe at the helm, Seb, Susannah

[colourful little houses, calm waters, the sun glittering on the waves] Soon it's gin o'clock and Tobermory beckons with whisky, pubs and fresh fish and chips eaten by the harbour, all this serenaded by the cries of gulls and the sound of gentle waves lapping on the boat. The company in the saloon is great, spirits are high (and tangible in the air ^^) and even brushing teeth turns into an adventure - bioluminescence!

Fish and chips in Tobermory (photo: Erik)

[Day 3]

[The wind is still asleep, far in the distance lies the headland we want to sail along today]
After a scrumptious breakfast - Apple strudel! Blueberry muffins! Fresh carrot cake! - we take our leave of Tobermory and sail towards the point of Ardnamurchan. In the glorious sunshine, with epic classical music and a lovely wind we sail past Muck and Eigg and make good way towards our next anchoring point - Loch Scresort, Isle of Rùm. We learn how to drop the anchor and the dinghy is pumped up for a trial-paddle around the boat. It proves too windy and so we decide against paddling to shore. Instead, the skipper turns into flipper (Seb goes for a quick swim - in regards to the unusual jellyfish bloom we observe throughout the week that’s very brave indeed!) and Susannah prepares a pretty epic curry. Mjam! Much whisky and rum are sampled later in the evening, which seems only fair since our very anchorage is at a place called Rùm…the rest is silence – the heads won’t tell tales…

Testing the dinghy in Loch Scresort, Rùm – Mike, Alex, Anna, Alexis (photo: Erik)

[Day 4]

[Skye the mystic beckoning in the distance, shrouded in clouds]

We set sails and leave Rùm (and a bucket-load of very clean spoons on the ground of Loch Scresort) for Skye. The hills far in the distance soon grow higher, and aided by both wind and motor we reach Skye in the sunshine, the clouds lift and we see seals (which are, according to Alexis, tubular things on the rocks, or actually, sheep with flippers depending on who you ask).  Leaving Kestrel anchored in Loch na Cuilce with Alexis lovingly guarding her, we turn the dinghy into a ferry to the shore and embark on a short scramble up to Loch Coruisk. The courageous – Anna, Alex, Chris, Seb and Constanze – take a dip in the cold waters of the Loch, and the conscientious – Susannah, Joe, Mike and Erik – make sure not to forget to point at the swimmers and take photos. No Loch Coruisk monster is to be seen - clearly it doesn't fancy pink toenails! Back at Loch na Cuilce we do our own little seal-watch tour in the dinghy and then enjoy a fabulous haggis meal (thanks to Mike's cooking skills) in the saloon, followed by the hilarious games 'taboo' and 'consequences':

‘An adventurous and bonny CUYC crew met a blue and bouncy Kestrel in a Loch on Skye at gin o’clock. The crew said to Kestrel: “Will you take us along on a cruise and show us where the seals live?” to which Kestrel replied: “Do you have a first mate? And is your skipper called Seb?” They sailed off into the sunset and saw many seals, and as a consequence the funny movement seals make (and every other funny thing a Seb does) shall from now on be called ‘sebbing’.’

 
The dinghy ferry, Seb, Susannah, Alex, Anna       Kestrel in Loch na Cuilce, Isle of Skye (both photos: Constanze)

Landing party with Loch Coruisk, Skye – Mike, Alex, Anna, Constanze, Joe, Seb, Chris, Susannah, Erik (photo: Constanze)

[Day 5]

[Skye, Rùm, Muck, Eigg, glittering waves, dolphins, classical music]

We leave Skye behind and the sun is smiling on us once again, most likely because we have a birthday-b(u)oy on board - Joe. We celebrate in style, with Seb's zestful fruit-cake, singing and - the spinnaker! Smiles all round, Alexis' spinnaker-smile redefining the meaning of a 'million watt' smile ^^ - we all enjoy the wind in our faces! We practise to reef the sail and - alas - MAN OVER BOARD!!! The buoy is rescued after much ado, and, as noted by the skipper in the log-book, 'no pulse was found'.

Chris, Joe, Seb, Anna, Erik and Constanze enjoying the Spinnaker and the sunshine (photo: Seb)

Alexis with Spinnaker smile (photo: Seb)

We end this epic day in Loch Eatharna, Coll, by attaching to a mooring buoy and ...

[cue: 'Carmina Burana' blasting across the bay, all eyes on us as the music crescendos] - by hoisting Seb up the mast! He fixes the anchor-light, and Alexis the first mate also gets his moment with Kestrel, just to make sure everything is okay with her wind-thingy up there...We enjoy the hoisting, and Erik's small mutiny, and the general attention our boat gets ^^ - Afterwards: More whisky, more consequences and the most beautiful view of the stars and the milky way ever [velvety black sky, millions of stars, the milky way like a luminous cloud over our awed heads] - Life is more than just good! Life is EPIC!

 …from below – skipper Seb (photo: Constanze)

From above – all hands on deck (photo: Seb)

[Day 6]

[Overcast skies, diminishing food stores, Scottish porridge oats for breakfast, still, smiles all round] Chris the Courageous and Erik the Fierce set off for Arinagour on Coll, the dinghy fully laden with rubbish, to return an hour later with fresh supplies. We set off towards the Threshnish Isles and overhear a MAYDAY call [cue: Yacht Xanadu, grounded, lying on its side, rescue ship close by, all three crewmembers rescued to safety] – we see how NOT to navigate.

We carefully avoid the isles due to our GPS taking a short leave of absence, sailing past Staffa and Fingal's cave (Fingal is clearly on holiday, too) and towards Iona, where we anchor in the best spot possible - straight in front of the mysterious monastery. After an epic veggie-laden dinner (courtesy of Chris and the chopping minions ^^), team 'Spoon' – Seb, Susannah, Alex and Anna – take up the first watch. The first watch sees torrential rain, dolphins and a wave-standoff between wind and tide in the sound of Iona. The next watch, team 'Knife' – Alexis, Erik and Chris – sees not much at all apart from a 'sudden storm to port' (– land!) and the third watch, team 'Fork' – Seb, Mike, Joe and Constanze – sees the dawn crawl across the sea and the spinnaker going up again, for some sailing at 6+ knots in the early hours of the morning! We make it to Dunstaffnage marina where the servicing of the motor allows us to thoroughly enjoy the swaying of the tables in the tea shop, a short stroll to the castle helps to stretch our sea-legs and off we go back towards Oban.

[cue: Oban waterfront opening up under gray skies, MacBrayne ferry humming in the distance]

We return to Kerrera and, with Alexis' encouraging cry of "First flake to port!" we follow suit and make sure that 'the last flake is the neatest'. Kestrel has a good rest at the marina and we enjoy a lovely (civilized!) meal in Oban, the minion suits are hung out to dry (literally ^^) and we also make sure that no biscuit crumb, no drop of whisky, no splatter of custard and no rum (thanks to Alexis' epic rum-cake) go to waste. After playing a final round of 'consequences' we enjoy the gentle rocking of the boat for the last time, as we fall asleep reminiscent of our past adventures.

Posing in our minion suits – Chris, Constanze, Alexis, Alex, Anna, Michael, Joe, Susannah, Seb, Erik (photo: Richard)

[Day 7]

[Wine and beer-bottles, a narrow train corridor, changing scenery]

We all take the train from Oban to Glasgow and pretty much everyone in the two coaches is witness to our epic 'Scottish beer tasting session', put on by Chris and Alexis. Afterwards, it is goodbye and while we don't quite steer our merry crew into the sun, it does feel a little bit like the breaking of the fellowship...what an EPIC WEEK and let's reunite soon! [Balloons drop from the ceiling]

Selection of beers from Arinagour, Isle of Coll (photo: Chris)

The choir [sings]
~
One little, two little, three little sailors,
four little, five little, six little sailors,
seven little, eight little, nine little sailors,
ten little sailor friends.
In Glasgow Chris took a different train line,
that reduced the merry crew from complete to just nine.
Alexis planned to fly back to Paris as befits the first mate,
which meant that at the station remained only eight.
Joe's departure left seven to wait,
and the train towards Cambridge was not one minute late.
But as the initial poem surely predicts,
Mike said goodbye too, to Cambridge travelled just six.
Seb stayed on the train to pick up Ridley, so only five
little sailors did that night in Cambridge arrive.
The numbers were further reduced by three,
since Erik, Anna and Alex then left by tax-eeeh.
Remaining at the station were only two;
Constanze walked towards home sharing the last steps with Sue!
Thus ends the story but never fear,
as soon as you'll uncork good whisky they'll all reappear!
~
[Curtain falls. THE END.]